Off to Myanmar with Count de Money

In a previous entry to this blog, I mentioned that I had the opportunity to serve in a ministry called Business As Mission (“BAM”). Back in 2014, the guys from church reached out to me to see if I would be interested in going on another trip. I had previously been to Mongolia and to India a few times, which were great experiences, so I was more than interested to go on another international adventure. Where are we going this time? How does Myanmar sound to you? I said “sounds great” but where the heck is that? Maybe you’ve heard of it as Burma, in Southeast Asia. Yatzee! That I had heard of! I didn’t realize the name of the country had been changed in 1989. My experience prior to this was that I remember it mentioned during the Vietnam War back in the 70’s. Through a little research I found out that it was a country of about 50 million at that time situated between India, China, Laos and Thailand.

We were to team up with a group of guys from a church in Iowa that was developing a group like ours and wanted to join us. The missionaries in country had set up almost twenty prospects for us to work with so the added help was greatly needed and appreciated. On this trip my responsibility was going to be the treasurer for the Georgia team in addition to consulting and evaluating five Myanmar brothers and sisters’ ideas for businesses in their respective cities. If the business plans were doable, we would arrange for funding for these micro businesses and then follow up with them as they started on their way to being entrepreneurs for the Kingdom. It was no small task since the country was about 90% Buddhist and Christians were under persecution for being a threat. We trained for several months before going over to make sure we had plans in place to get assistance in case we were to come under a challenge. In this part of the world (and many others) you can be put in prison for evangelizing the citizens to a Christian faith. So, we had to be careful but still felt led to do this and help out our new friends a half a world away.

As we started out training my natural curiosity led me to ask, “Hey, what do I actually have to do as the keeper of the finances?” Fair question I thought. They all kind of looked at their feet and smiled and said that with my professional background I just needed to be sure I kept track of all the expenses and make sure we had money for food, supplies, etc. There were only five of us so I didn’t think that was hard at all. I just couldn’t get why they kept smiling. I was about to find out……

But First, A Joke!!

Dad Joke time!!!!!

I dreamed about mufflers all last night - I was exhausted!!

I just bought some shoes from a drug dealer…I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!!

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but I can’t tell them to you.
Why?

Because none of them work!!

I finally watched the documentary on clocks - It was about time!!

I’m going to start doing lunges to stay in shape - That would be a big step forward for me!!

A man lost his fingers in a freak accident and asked the doctor, “Will I still be able to write with it?” - Doc said, “Probably but don’t count on it.”

(I’ll show myself out)

A Verse to Contemplate:

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature, old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Have I Told You This One?

Have you ever seen the Mel Brooks movie History of the World, Part 1? I know it is an odd question, but it makes this a little more funny if you have. Harvey Korman’s character in the movie is known as Count de Monet. He comes off as an untrustworthy keeper of the funds in the movie and Mel Brooks character of the king keeps calling him Count de Money. The count quickly corrects him by saying “It’s de Monet, de Monet!” So, on the trip I was affectionately referred to as Count de Money.

My main job was to keep a record of all the money that was spent on the trip and to give an accounting to the church when we got back. Piece of cake, sorta. There were some quirky things that needed to be done to get in and to leave the country, The first was that to get into the country each person had to present a brand-new crisp $100 bill to customs as a tax. When they told me that I thought they were yanking ole Count de Money. I went to my local bank and told the teller about my need for five crispy $100 bills. She thought she was getting yanked too. I pleaded with her to believe me and thankfully she went along. I also had to have some money changed from $USD to Myanmar Kyats (K) when we arrived. No biggie, I’ve done this before on my business trips with local currencies. The guys just smiled at my confidence. Now, I’m starting to get very suspicious.

The trip to Myanmar started at Atlanta Hartsfield Jackson airport and first went to Seoul, South Korea, 16-hour non-stop flight, for a 45-minute plane change and then on to Yangon, Myanmar which was an additional six-hour leg. Twenty-three straight hours in coach to get started. Then three days in country and then repeat in reverse.

We arrived in the middle of the night and headed for customs. I finally thought I would find out that my “friends” were pulling my leg about the crisp $100 bills. We were behind another group from the states, and I’ll be dipped, they were not allowed in because their bills were not “new enough” I stepped up and presented the bills I have been protecting for a few days and they looked them over and let us in! I looked at my buddies and said, “I stand corrected!, thanks for the heads up".”

Yangon is a city of around 5 million people. It felt like 20 million. It was also amazingly hot. If you ever watched Good Morning Vietnam when Robin Williams said it was “Africa Hot”, I know where he got it from! I just sweat through my clothes standing still. It had the feel of those cities you see in the movies where there are people everywhere, kinetic energy, loud noises, horns blowing, etc. you get the idea. We all piled into a tiny car, and we looked like the clown car at the circus when we got out. But, halleluiah, we made it.

I took $400 out of our budget and had it converted to local currency. I knew the exchange rate was favorable to the dollar, but they literally handed me a garbage bag full of money. I had not been paying close attention and when they handed the “bag-o-money” to me I was shocked! I said, “I’m sorry, I only wanted to exchange $400. They looked at me and said, “that’s what you have!” I don’t think I can explain this to you appropriately. It looked like they had raided 25 to 30 Monopoly games and given me the money. There were red ones, blue ones, green ones, yellow ones all in big stacks. I swear it looked like I knocked off a bank. Now, I knew why they were smiling. Count de Money had to drag this around for the week. They might as well have drawn a target on me.

Our driver was a wonderful guy from the states that had been a missionary there for a few years and was building a great ministry. I think he must have grown up in New York because he drove like a cabbie. However, I was glad it was him and not me. Lordy, what a site. We got stuck in the middle of a traffic grid lock on the way in and then all of the sudden he asks, “You guys hungry?” “Absolutely”, we said. So, he stops the car right in the middle of the road. This would be akin to just stopping in the middle of Peachtree Street with cars behind you everywhere you looked. He had just located a street vendor that looked like he was selling hot dogs from a cart. We said, “That’s okay, we can wait.” He said, “no way, you’ve got to try this!” So out of the car we go and to my delight it wasn’t hot dogs but dove eggs cooked on a griddle. We just stood there gulping down fried dove eggs on the side of the road while passersbys gave us the one-finger salute. So much for keeping a low profile. I highly recommend fried dove eggs though!

Our hotel was this cool old oriental designed place that was built for guys about half my size. The guys kept quoting the Tommy Boy movie “Big guy in a little coat”, “Big guy in a little bed”, etc. I had that going for me! We had to pay (I mean, I had to pay) by a certain time each day, in cash, or they would kick us out. Apparently, they had not heard of American Express. So, every day when we came back from teaching, I would have to drag out the “bag-o-money” and settle up with the desk clerk that knew zero English. Good times! The coup de grace was the hooker who hit us up each night when we came back to our rooms along with her “business manager.” They were persistent, I’ll give them that.

One of the amazing things we got to do was go out and visit some of the businesses in the city and meet the families and folks that were putting in the hard work. It makes me look at side of the road businesses a lot differently than I had before. While we were out, we were asked to visit an orphanage that one of the businesspeople also ran. She was hoping to get funding for her business so she and her husband could expand the orphanage and help more kids. It took longer than we thought to get there and we ended up being two hours late. When we arrived around thirty kids were seated on blankets on the floor and greeted us like we were royalty. It was so humbling. They sang us several songs and introduced themselves to each of us and even gave us some gifts. I’ll never forget that night.

After a successful week of developing business plans and being able to fund almost all of the micro businesses we decided to take out the team, the translators, the local folks that kept us out of trouble and a few others to dinner. We got a great recommendation for an open-air cafe right on the main drag. We walk in there with about 20 or so people and the place lit up. We clearly didn’t look like we were from the area and here comes Count de Money with his big bag-o-money. This bag was still so big I almost had to carry it like Santa carries his sack! I’m looking around and thinking “I’m never going to make it out of here alive!” We had a great meal and time of celebration and then the bill came. My buddies were now really smiling! I went over to pay, and I felt like Oprah. “You get some money! You get some money! and you get some money. I should have run for office.

When we got back to the airport, I traded the still big bag-o-money to the exchange person and got $12.89 back. I was still alive and the guys had set me up but it turned out fine. Another adventure in the books.

A Prayer:

Father, I desire to live a life built on the foundation of Your word. Teach me Your ways and empower me to live fully surrendered to You.

Book Recommendation:

Unshaken by Dr. Crawford W. Loritts Jr. (2015)

Music Recommendation:

Made Up Mind - Tedeschi Trucks Band (2013)