Shopping with a Major Leaguer

Hello again! Welcome to the fourth entry of the A Table For One blog. I am grateful that you are taking some of your time to check out my latest ramblings. I hope it makes your day at least a little better.

I did not know it, but I was born into royalty. I KNOW, I’m as surprised as you are! How does a young man go from tire builder kid to royalty you ask? Well, I’ll tell you, my mother was the Queen of Shopping and she was unparalleled in her expertise and dedication to her craft. You know the 10,000-hour rule in becoming an expert of something in Malcom Gladwell’s book Outliers; mere child’s play to the Queen of Shopping from Akron, Ohio.

I wrote some about my dad in my last entry so I thought I would give mom some equal time. I looked up to my mom in many ways and while I wanted to always be a tough guy like my dad, God wired me much more like Mom, which by the way, probably drove dad nuts.  Dad was the leader of our family but mom was the glue that held it all together. I admired mom’s work ethic and drive and I tried hard to emulate her in my personal life as well as my professional life. Through strikes, illness and other challenges in dad’s job, mom saved the day for our family and allowed us to move forward and keep going and I am forever grateful.

Mom started out as an X-ray technician at St. Thomas Hospital and over a 40+ year career moved up the ranks to where she was head of education in radiology when she retired.  There are scores of people over the years that were trained by her.  Mom was unique in the fact that she actually loved her work and the people she worked with and the people she provided care to. As we all know though, your job is not who you are, it is what you do.  Only talking about someone’s job to describe them to others is a disservice to them. 

My story today will focus on the wonderfully crazy lady she was and how impactful she was to me growing up through the eyes of a mere mortal (me) when it came to shopping and the countless times she took to just talk to me and help me see people in a much better way.

But first…A joke to loosen things up a little:

Two wrestlers are sitting on a park bench, and an old lady who’s ranting and raving comes by. “Hey!” she bellows in a hoarse voice. “I got a riddle for you guys”. What has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks something awful?”

The guys look at each other, and one of them shrugs. “I give up, what has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks something awful?”. “You and your friend!” The woman staggers away, chuckling. The guys look at each other and start laughing. “That was a funny riddle that lady told on us, “they say. “Let’s go try it on someone else.”

Laughing hysterically, they see two guys. They approach them and smile. “Hey! We got a riddle for you! What has two heads, four arms. four legs, and stinks something awful”. The guy shrugs waiting for an answer. The wrestlers chuckle again, and one of them says with a smirk, “Me and my friend!”

A Verse to Contemplate:

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much - Luke 16:10.

Have I Told You This One?

Mom LOVED to talk, let’s just say that a pause in the conversation would not be tolerated and she was not a fan of short talks. Pick a topic, she had an opinion! If it lasted long enough, she might take both sides of the argument. Mom loved people and had a soft compassionate heart.  She was an excellent caregiver and took care of many people.  Stories of injustice around the world would break her heart and bring her to tears. She ran her department with excellence and even brought students to our home throughout the years to teach physics to them so they could pass their exams.

Mom was EASY to play jokes on.  Once, when she and dad came down to Georgia to visit me and my family, we took them to a Japanese steak house for dinner.  The restaurant made a big deal about birthdays and would put a big funny hat on the person, bang a drum and sing a loud happy birthday song. When we were going to sit own, I peeled back and told them that it was Mom’s birthday and to set up the surprise. (It was not her birthday).  I also told them that she is very vain and would deny that it was her birthday but to just keep going.  The plan went off as expected, Mom denied it and starting looking around until she got to me and saw the look on my face and then she knew she had been had. I loved making her laugh; especially when she laughed so hard that she would lose her breath and start snorting!

Mom LOVED to shop. Let’s just say that there are shoppers, avid shoppers, crazy shoppers, lunatic shoppers and then there is mom. The Queen of Shopping was in a special class all to herself. She had a special attraction to J.C. Penney and Pier 1 Imports. When mom shopped, she would not leave until she had touched every piece of whatever in the store. I swear if I said ANYTHING, she would take another lap around the store! My dad would beg off going by “voluntelling” me to take his place.

I “gladly” went with mom many times to shop at JCP (actually I was kidnapped and forced to go). My precious mother bought me every turtleneck they ever had in the catalog. She even bought me dickies (if you know you know). I begged her to stop but then she doubled down and bought me plaid cuffed dress slacks when everyone else were wearing Levi’s jeans. I had drawers packed with those clothes and every once in a while, she would ask me why I was not wearing those great clothes she got me, and I told her I think our house was broken into and someone my exact size must have grabbed those babies. I also suggested that it was healthier for me to not wear those clothes since the beatings would end at school. I don’t think she bought it.

I swear when mom entered the local JCP people would stop what they were doing and take a knee. I overheard them whispering to one another “There she is, the Queen”, “I thought it was just a rumor but there she is in the flesh!” Mom would pass the minions with grace and class and give the queen wave as she honored the store with her presence. It was of like Norm walking into Cheers! Actually, it was quite impressive.

Mom was also just as famous at Pier 1 Imports. Over the years she invested a fortune in wicker baskets, urns, flowerpots, statues, etc., etc., etc. She LOVED that place. I spent many hours sitting in the car in shopping center parking lots that had a Pier 1. I would complain to dad, but I was what was keeping him from doing it so guess who wasn’t get out of it?!

After I moved away after college, I called mom once a week. She loved to talk and dad didn’t so I would check in on her and we would do some talking! One of the greatest things I got from mom was to think about how the decisions being made would affect others. To look at it from a different point of view. This isn’t always easy in the business world but it served me well over the years. She cared about people (probably to a fault). If that is the worst thing anyone can say about you…you are a pretty good person in my view. Thanks mom!

I came up to visit Mom in the hospital back in 2015 when things started looking very serious with her failing health.  We had a great visit and as I was leaving, I bent down to her in her bed and put both my hands on her face and looked deep into her eyes and our eyes locked in a special way.  I told her I loved her and left. I thought that was probably going to be the last time I would see her on this side of life. I was right. This was the same hospital I was born in 55 years earlier. A place where my mom worked, a place were most of the family was born and died over the years.

As I was thinking about how special that moment was I believe God gave me a mental vision of what it was like the day I was born and she put both of her hands on my little face and locked eyes with me and how she probably told me she loved me. How the contrast of the two events matter all these years later.

She passed on the next Friday and once she left this earth her spirit was instantly in the presence of God. I believe that she was greeted by Jesus who put his hands on her face and locked eyes with her and said “I Love you and Well Done Good and Faithful Servant.”

She is actually interned in her favorite urn from Pier 1. She is interned next to my dad in a national cemetery in Ohio and I can only imagine dad’s reaction when mom and her urn showed up three years after he passed and realized that he would be next to that for eternity!

Who says you can’t take it with ya?

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, I am overwhelmed by Your loving forgiveness. Empower me with your Spirit to wipe the slate clean and keep no record of others’ wrongs.

Book Recommendation:

Unbroken: An Olympian’s Journey from Airman To Castaway to Captive by Lauren Hillenbrand (2014)

Music Recommendation:

An Ecstasy of Fumbling by Budgie (1988)