“Wait…. WHAT?!
It’s great to have siblings! No, I mean I have great siblings! Wait, how about, isn’t it great to have siblings? Okay, how about who are these people…my siblings? Wait… WHAT?! Well, it’s in there somewhere along the continuum. I’m kidding of course. I was blessed (forced) to have a brother and a sister to go through this nutty life that Mom and Dad decided to thrust us into together.
I was the first so they either said to themselves, “He’s perfect, we couldn’t possibly do any better", one is plenty” OR they decided to go to the local Margarita Monday to celebrate the immense happiness of having the “golden child” and slipped and were surprised a month later or so to find out that you can’t possibly top the original but were going to give it another try. And then 12 years later they went on a Canada fishing trip, it got a little cold one particular night, the Molson’s was flowing, one thing led to another and Botta Boom Botta Bing, the family is complete (one of these is true. I will let you use your imagination to figure out which one).
In complete seriousness, my brother and sister mean the world to me. Mom and Dad are sticking to their story that none of us were adopted but sometimes it is a head scratcher. We couldn’t be more different, but I guess this is where we find out that the Almighty has an amazing sense of humor. He put all of us together and let us figure it out. I have questions (and possibly some comments but I’ll have to wait until we have that face-to-face someday). I’m sure there is a logical and brilliant plan but I’m coming up with nothing at the present. It’s better that He is in charge.
The first of this odd trio, my brother Allen, was called home about a year ago (February 10th) and this will be the first anniversary of that sad day. I have been thinking a lot about him, and I’ve got stories! It takes a minute to move them from the back of the gray matter to the frontal lobe these days, but I want to share one with you today that always brings a smile to my face. It is from a good time the three of us had together after he was sparred the Grim Reaper after a near death event. But you need to hear some back story first.
If I ever write a book (which I would love to do), the working title will be something like, “How long do you have to hold a pillow over someone’s face before their feet stop kicking.” It’s not going to be a book for everyone but if you have a younger brother that is Olympic good at pushing ALL of your buttons, you likely will enjoy the hell out of it! Allen was great at pushing me to my edge and then smiling at me while I tried to get my balance and not fall of the cliff. We were not the brothers that called each other every day to check on each other but deep down there was a strong bond that we knew was there.
One day, I got a call that he has been rushed to the hospital in Akron, and it looks bad. While in Georgia I’m making calls to try and find out information and find out enough to know I needed to get up there. So, I jump in the car and head for Ohio. Longest drive of my life! I couldn’t get there fast enough, and it felt like I was standing still while trying to keep it under 100 mph! When I get there, we find out that we can’t see him because of Covid 19 protocols at the hospital. We sit around all day and wait for the one call per day from the doctor in charge of his case. He is in serious condition and the prospects do not look promising.
This goes on for a week or so and eventually I have to make a decision to stay and wait or head back home and get back to work. I decide to go back to Atlanta but tell my sister, niece and nephew that I will be back as soon as possible if things make a bad turn. It occurs to me that this may be the last time I will ever see him, so……. I sneak into the hospital and get past all the security and go see him in intensive care. He is heavily sedated and, on a ventilator, and looks like he may not be getting out of there. I lean down and kiss him on the forehead, tell him I love him, and leave before security finds out who I am. After another depressing long drive back to Atlanta, I stay in touch with the family. He’s in there for a month and honestly, I was waiting for THE CALL which I thought would be coming at any minute.
One day at work, my phone goes off and the call identifier shows up as City Hospital, Akron, Ohio. Oh no, this is going to be THE CALL. I am beyond surprised to hear my brother’s voice on the other end of the phone! He tells me he is leaving the hospital THAT DAY. Previous to this call, we had been informed three times that he was close to death. THREE! Then we were told that he would never leave the hospital and if by some miracle he was able to, he would be in a vegetative state. Then they told us that they couldn’t get him back from the heavy sedation drugs and there might be brain damage (he had been under for 6 weeks). NOW he is on the phone telling me that he is going home THAT DAY. I ask him to hold up a sec and that I will call him back right away. I immediately call my sis, and she confirms it. Wait… WHAT!? I head to Hartsfield and jump on the next plane to Cleveland.
By the time I get there he is back in his apartment and talking about going back to work. My head is spinning! What a miracle. Today’s blog will be about a great weekend the three of us had celebrating his victory over a mountain of obstacles that no one besides God himself thought he would overcome and a few “Wait… WHAT” moments.
Thanks for giving it your time, I hope you get a kick out of it.
But First…A Joke:
A guy from Xichigan speaks frantically into the phone. “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” the doctor asks.
“No, you idiot!” the Wolverine shouts. “This is her husband!”
Bonus Dad Joke:
Patient: Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
Doctor: How about a shoebox?
A Verse to Contemplate:
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” - John 13:7
Have I Told You This One?
By God’s grace, Allen was given more time. No one could believe it. My sister and I are talking daily and when you have been through something like this you realize a ton of questions that we didn’t have answers to. Like, does he have insurance, does he want to be buried, cremated, etc. He was single and let’s just say that organizing and having his affairs in order had never stayed on his radar very long. In other words, we were completely in the dark on how to handle his end-of-life details when they come which now seems way more than a 50/50 deal. We didn’t think he would be around for a long time so there was some urgency on our part to get this figured out.
I ask Shelly if she would be interested in getting together with Allen and me thinking that we may not have a lot of time before something worse may happen. She said yes and I told Michelle what I was thinking, and she said that it sounded like a good idea. I call Allen and ask him straight up, “Is there anything that you haven’t done that you would like to do?” “You mean, a bucket list thing?” “Yes, but let’s not call it that let’s just call it a sibling vacation or something nebulous like that.” I tell him to think big and not to worry about costs. He did not disappoint!
It became a running joke between Michelle, Shelly and me. We couldn’t wait to get his calls for his ideas. He starts calling about every day to run it by me. Please remember, this is a guy that we were informed was on death’s doorstep three times, had probably a million dollars of surgeries, and was recovering from being on a ventilator for 6 weeks in the ICU. Buckle up!!
Round one: Japan
Round two: Australia
Round three: Hawaii
Round four: California
Round five: Arizona. If nothing else, we are getting closer to Ohio and Georgia!
After each call I’m biting my own tongue to not explode. I remind him that he currently can’t walk more than 100 yards without needing to sit down and catch his breath. He also can’t go more than 30 minutes without a cigarette and the flights he just inquired about range anywhere from 5 hours to 24 hours (in coach). Michelle is tickled by all of this, and Shelly can’t wait to find out “where we are going next!” I worked in business for 40 years, so I have developed an ability to “massage” a “client” toward the correct answer, but he is testing that expertise. I suggest that he sleep on it for a week and that we can talk then and make a decision.
A week has gone by, and we set up a time to talk. I’m informed that he has given it a lot of thought and that he wants to go to Las Vegas. Ok, that is doable. “Hey Big Al, what would you like to do in Vegas my loving brother?” Wait for it….. I want to go see Celine Dion and take a tour of the Raiders new stadium! “Wait… WHAT?! Michelle is begging to hear what it is, so I put Allen on mute and tell her and she has coffee coming out of her nose instantly!!
Understand, that my tatted-up brother went to see Slayer in downtown Detroit on Halloween and by choice sat in the Dawg Pound at the old Cleveland Stadium because it was “fun!” Now we are off to see Celine!! Oh man! I say yes immediately because I HAVE to see this go down. I.HAVE.TO!!!! Michelle’s waving her arms telling me to say no, but I push ahead. This is gold!! I hung up and call my sis and she passes out from laughing so hard.
A few days later he calls back and says that he’s been thinking about it and that he doesn’t think his body will allow this and unfortunately, he will not be able to go. I felt bad and thought that was probably where we would end up. I asked him, “What do you really like to do that you haven’t done in a while?” He says camping and night fishing and I agree that that is very doable. Michelle finds this cool place about two hours south of Akron and we set a date for the three sibs to all meet in Akron and drive down together to camp and night fish.
As the date approaches, I am talking to my sister and tell her that it is vital that we get answers to those outstanding questions we had about what to do when he passes. She doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up to him. I said I will do it, no problem. She wonders aloud how I will go about it. I told her that when I thought the moment was right, I would bring it up but would give her heads up before I asked so she would know it was coming. What she didn’t know is that I was setting her up as well!!
We start our drive and when we get close, we go through this state park which has a great lake and that puts Allen into a good mood about fishing, so I decided that this is a good time to bring it up. I look in the rear-view mirror and make eye contact with Shelly. It’s go time.
I start off all serious like due to the subject matter and I ask Allen, “Hey buddy, can I ask you a very serious question?” I look in the rear-view and Shelly takes a deep breath. I ask Allen, “My brother, we are so glad you are still with us and that we have the opportunity to spend this time together. If anything, the last several months have shown us that you never know how much time we have left on this side of heaven. Therefore, we need to know some things so can I ask you something?” “Sure Mark, what is it?” I take a deep breath and ask him, “So, what would you say are your favorite Celine Dion songs?” My sister gasps and says, “Wait… WHAT?” And without even batting an eye, Allen replies, “You’re right that is a tough question because I like all of them!” Now, it was my turn, “Wait… WHAT?!”
We laughed about that for the next three years. We were fortunate to have that much more time together. At the time we thought he had a matter of weeks to months. I miss him and as the anniversary rolls around, I hope he is enjoying the best music there is for eternity. Love ya Big Al from Ellet.
A Prayer:
Heavenly Father, You perfectly modeled forgiveness and reconciliation to me. Humble my heart to lay aside pride and ego and seek to be reconciled to those I’ve offended.
Book Recommendation:
Ruffians - by Tim Green (1993)
Music Recommendation:
What’s Going On - Marvin Gaye (1971)
Quote of the Day:
“Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?” — Jay Leno
A Cool Place to Visit:
Canandaigua, New York