“Does Anyone Remember Laughter?”

Hey there! Good news (for me), I didn’t get any spoiled fruit thrown at me after my first blog post so I’m going to keep going. Thanks to everyone for the feedback and encouragement. “You like me…You really like me” (Google it for the younger folks).

If you are of a “certain age” you probably have heard the live soundtrack to The Song Remains The Same by Led Zeppelin around 1973. Robert Plant improvises during Stairway to Heaven with the now famous question in the song. It is akin to movie fans dropping their favorite lines from movies to gauge your true knowledge of a particular flick.

I’m going to use this as a question for today’s blog.

But first….A Joke to loosen things up a little:

One day a blonde went to an auction to buy a parrot. He really wanted it, but he kept getting outbid. So, he bid higher…and higher…and higher. Even though he had to bid way more than he intended, he finally won the bird. As he was paying for it, he mentioned to the auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I’d hate to have paid this much to find out that he can’t!” “Don’t worry,” replied the auctioneer. “Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

A Verse To Contemplate:

“Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” Psalms 90:12

Story of the Day:

Let me ask you a question…Have you ever been at a point in your life where you were just crusin’ along and then in the blink of an eye you find yourself taking a completely different path and after a bit you just sit there and wonder what just happened?

I’m two years into that as of this writing. My wife Michelle got Covid on her 60th birthday and 12 days later she was gone. I’m still trying to figure out what happened and definitely think “does anyone remember laughter?”

In my family, we have been accustomed to dealing with some serious health challenges over the years. Michelle had a kidney transplant, her Dad had three transplants, my daughter had a kidney transplant, my grandson had two brain surgeries in his first two months of life. So when Michelle went into the hospital, we were concerned but did not think she would not beat it and come back home. We were wrong.

For her birthday that year I scheduled a winery trip in the mountains for her and my three girls. The night before she was to leave was our 39th anniversary. On our way to dinner to celebrate we found out that our grandson got Covid which made us very concerned and put a quick end to our date. Michelle was a higher threat to Covid because of her transplant and the anti-rejection drugs she took. Her immune system was compromised and if she got Covid it would be very difficult for her to fight the infections. We were mostly worried about our grandson given all the challenges he had been through. Michelle said she wasn’t feeling great and went to bed early so she would be rested for the winery tour the next day.

The girls came and picked her up and they headed to the mountains for a few days and I anticipated her back by her birthday so we could celebrate and make up for the anniversary. Later in the day the girls called me and said Michelle was really sick but she didn’t want to reschedule the trip and was going to stick it out. They called a few more times and I could tell the concern in their voices. When she finally made it home, she looked very ill and went straight to bed.

Covid was raging at this time and it was going to take hours to get tested and, if necessary, seen by a physician. I said let’s go to the hospital and Michelle said to wait until the next day and if she was not better that she would go. We went to a walk-in clinic the next day which took four hours to be seen. When she was examined, they told us that she had Covid and needed to get to the hospital for care. They were taking her to X-ray to check out her lungs but she fainted on the way down the hall. An ambulance was called and she was taken to Kennesaw Hospital. We waited another eight hours to be seen by a doctor.

They confirmed the prior diagnosis and admitted her to the hospital. One problem…no rooms. She stayed in emergency for another 30 hours before a bed opened up. At this point I was not permitted to see her because the hospital was in a code red shut down due to the pandemic. I called her the next day but her phone went directly to voice mail. She texted back that she wanted a phone charger and a heating pad and back pillow. I drove to the hospital immediately and was told that she could only have the charger and the other items were not on “the list”. I got into a heated argument with a woman at the front desk due to her lack of empathy and I was escorted out by an officer. It was not my best day. Does anyone remember laughter?

Three days in she was moved to an ICU step down room. Two more days she was moved to ICU. The next day I had to make a decision to put her on a ventilator. She then had three surgeries to place tubes into her lungs to be able to breathe. I was then informed that she had MRSA and was “very sick”. Then palliative care started calling me every few hours. My daughter Mallory also was in the hospital with Covid and was going down an almost identical path as Michelle. We received no calls from physicians for the first six days and then only one per day. We hacked into her MyChart and could follow what treatments she was getting and what her vitals were. Does anyone remember laughter?

On day eleven, I was called and told that they had run out of things to do and that we should prepare to think about making her comfortable and that she had next to no chance of beating this. Her lungs were gone and she was being kept alive by the ventillator. I scheduled a meeting with the physician for the next day to discuss options. I had to then do the hardest thing I ever have had to do in my life, tell my girls their Mom was not going to make it. Does anyone remember laughter?

The next day I was allowed to get into the hospital and went to ICU to visit with the physician and to finally get to see my beloved. I was gowned up and looked like I was going into a nuclear reactor that needed repaired. I prepared myself as I approached her room and when I saw her, it buckled me. She was hooked up to so many machines and was still on the ventillator. I went in and held her hand and stroked her hair and talked with her. I do not know if she could hear me since she was so heavily sedated but in case she could, I started talking to her until it was time to meet with the physician. Does anyone remember laughter?

When I met with the physician in a conference room he told me her current situation and all they had done to save her but she was in organ failure and there was no scientific chance that she would survive. I made another decision I never thought I would have to make; to take her off the ventilator and switch her care to comfort care. I never felt more alone in my life.

I waited outside her room as they drew the curtain and took her off the ventilator. They also started unhooking her from all the other machines. The nurse was so kind and caring but I knew what was happening. I stayed with her for the last 90 minutes of her life holding her hand, stroking her hair, singing to her and reading some letters I wrote to her. Then she was gone and present with her Lord.

I stayed in the room for another 15 minutes until I felt her cold hand and realized that it was done. I went out of the room and began to let everyone know. Mallory was still fighting for her life and found out her Mom passed via text. Does anyone remember laughter?

As I write this today, I still struggle with the reality of it all. Two years have gone by at an unbelievable slow pace. The holidays, birthdays, etc. are not the same and I feel like my life ended two years ago and I’m trying to get started but I’m stuck and quite lonely. I went from a great marriage with my best friend to alone in the house we worked so hard to make a home. She was an unbelievable person that has left a legacy to be very proud of. I miss her and can’t wait to see her again in eternity. She beat me there and I envy her for that. I’m also very happy that she doesn’t have to go through what we have had to go through.

Mallory pulled through and beat Covid and is doing really well. Thank God for that. It was an answer to many prayers and I am beyond thankful. My grandson is thriving and doing well. So, I do remember laughter. It is not as loud as it used to be but one thing I have learned is to be happy for the nearly 50 years we had together (we met when I was 15 and she was 14) and how great she made my life. Thank you Lord for that. You blessed me far beyond what I have ever deserved.

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, You are my hope! Fill me to overflowing with joy and peace as I learn to completely trust You by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Book Recommendation:

Ghost Rider, Travels On The Healing Road by Neil Peart (2002)

Music Recommendation:

Lightbulb Sun by Porcupine Tree (2000)