Hey Sis!

My mom was the oldest child in her family. Growing up, I remember everyone calling her “Sis.” Her brothers, all the cousins, parents, grandparents, neighbors, etc. I thought that was a pretty cool nickname and it seemed to fit her perfectly. As the oldest growing up in my family, I was never called “Bro”, it just didn’t fit like Sis seemed to with mom. I thought it would be cool to have a sister that I could call “Sis” but at the time it was me and my brother Allen. After a miscarriage, Mom and dad decided to try to add to the family after waiting almost ten years after Allen was born. Mom really wanted to have a little girl to round out the family. She was the only girl in her family growing up and after being married she was still surrounded by dudes everywhere she looked!

Mom had me when she was 21 and Allen when she was 23. Now she was 33 and at that time people thought that she was a little past prime baby time. It is funny now but at the time people seemed to get married much earlier and started families right away. She was “old” at 33!

I was sitting in class as a sixth grader, and I hear my name over the P.A. to come to the office. They called Allen in as well. The message was sent over the P.A. that my mom had given birth to a baby girl and that we needed to bring our books and head home to meet the newest member of the Rutledge Quintet. I’m in my 60’s now and I still remember that day. Allen and I felt like celebrities! We got to the office at about the same time, and everyone congratulated us and told us it was okay to leave school and head home to meet our new sister.

I can’t believe they trusted us to go straight home from school but the 70’s were a different time, I guess. Allen and I jicked around during our one mile walk home but eventually made it. The house was full of people, and we looked at each other and thought that this must be a big deal. We cautiously entered the palace on Stevenson Avenue, and we saw mom holding this really small person all bundled up in blankets. May in Ohio can experience all four seasons in two days. We inched over toward mom, and she asked us in a very light voice if we would like to meet our new sister. Mom pulled the blankets from around her face, and we saw this beautiful little girlie. Her eyes were closed and mom said she had not opened them yet today. We stared at her face and sure enough she opened her eyes as we were leaning in. Wow, she was something for sure. And just like that, we had a sister. Cool. Hey mom, what’s for lunch? The Rutledge attention span was never known to be too long. “What’s her name, mom?” “Michelle Lee” mom replied. That seemed very nice I thought, and it seemed to fit perfectly.

As a 12-year-old, I can remember that I was psyched to get out of school early but not much else about that day. The fun was just beginning. When we returned to school it seemed like we were celebrities. Everyone seemed to know that we had a new addition to the family and were happy for us.

As the oldest sibling I can remember dad and mom telling me and then reminding me often that I needed to look out for her and protect her. I remember thinking to myself, isn’t that YOUR job? I had ball games, neighborhood friends, bikes to ride, you know… REALLY important stuff to tend to.

Growing up with a twelve-year age gap seemed to be a massively big valley for me and “Shelly.” Looking back honestly it was that I was a lot more self-absorbed in “Mark” stuff to be a good brother to Shelly. I can list a lot of things I was doing back then but it would only look and sound like an excuse for not prioritizing my relationship with my kid sister, so I won’t. I was gone from home a lot back then.

That relationship gap was not a problem with Shelly and Allen. They had a much closer relationship early on, and Allen spent more time with her and took the time to develop a proper brother and sister relationship. It felt like at times that I was more of a third parent than I was the other brother. I have always loved her and tried to be a good big brother, but I don’t think she considered me the “cool” brother, which was deserved!

I used to work at Blizzard Trophies while in high school and college which was walking distance from the house. One day, one of my co-workers calls me over to the rear window and says, “You may want to see this.” I look outside the window and my now pre-teen sister is walking with a friend, and they have so much makeup on that they are glowing and can be seen from Canton! I rush out there and (as I remember it) strongly recommend that she go back home and try again with the makeup.

Living in a one-bathroom house growing up made it tough for a sister who needed hours to get all dolled up, especially back in the “big hair” days. We were dying to get into the bathroom and Shelly was working on her lion mane hairdo and putting a hole in the ozone layer with all her hairspray. Once she finally appeared, we all gave her a standing ovation!

By the time she hit high school, I was married and had moved to Atlanta and started my family and we would only see each other a few times a year at best. One Christmas visit when she was starting to date, I was home and so was Allen. We were in our late twenties and her “date” was a bit intimidated by seeing her older brothers. I loved it. I called Allen over and asked him if he wanted to have a little fun with our sister’s friend. He smiled and asked what I had in mind. I told him to just follow my lead. We went over to “introduce ourselves” to this young Romeo but made sure to stand as close as possible to him as he stood up to greet us. We looked physically down on him as we crushed his hand giving him a handshake and let him know that we really loved our little sister and could not imagine what we might do to someone that hurt her. Then we asked, “you don’t plan on doing anything like that, do you?” He took a deep breath and promised us that he had no plans like that. We sat around and eyeballed him for the rest of the evening. I rather enjoyed myself.

Today’s blog will be about how proud I am to be able to reach out and say, “Hey Sis” to the best sister a guy could ask for and some adventures we have had over the past decade that has cemented our relationship from a kid sister to a best friend and confidant.

But First…A Joke:

Today someone knocked on the door and asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Bonus Dad Joke:

My mother told me I would never amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, “Just wait.”

A Verse to Contemplate:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves - Philippians 2:3

Have I Told You This One?

The years start zooming by and before you know it, we have seen her graduate high school, start working, driving, and now it’s time for her wedding. My little sister is old enough to be getting married. That can’t be! Let me do the math. Never mind, it is possible. Yikes.

At her wedding I’m holding my daughter Candace’s hand as we watch Shelly and dad do the father/daughter dance and I realize that that will be us in a “few” years. I was very proud of my sis that she was all grown up and had become a beautiful young woman starting her life as an adult. Cue Harry Chapin’s “Cats in the Cradle” song. Boy, time can fly.

At her reception she is sitting up at the main table and I catch her eye. I motion on my face that she has something (food possibly) on the side of her mouth. She starts rubbing it and gives me the look that asks, “did I get it off?” I shake my head no and point to the other side, then back to the other side, and several more times before she realizes that I’m messing with her. That was a good one. I’m there to see her daughter born and I’m there as we try and help our brother with his struggle with sobriety. I’m there when our parents start to age which brings on another layer of difficult decisions. Even though I’m there when I can be I always have to go back eventually, and our relationship endures way too many goodbyes which we both loathe.

Dad passes in 2012, and mom follows in 2015. A lot more trips up and back from Georgia to Ohio. Just as it seems we are connecting; it is time to leave again. It is hard. After mom’s funeral and burial, I am getting ready to leave once again and I can tell that Shelly is taking it very hard. I ask, “What’s wrong Sis?” She responds by saying that she is sad because I won’t be coming up anymore. I ask her why she thinks that, and she tells me that “since mom and dad are gone, you won’t be coming home anymore.” I assure her that I will be coming back to see her, and she is somewhat surprised. I notice this and make a vow to come back at least two times a year to see her and spend time with her and her family which I have done. It has resulted in developing one of the greatest relationships I have ever had over the past ten years.

We have been through a lot as a family over that time and I am so proud of her as she has had to carry the weight of all of that mostly by herself. I love spending time with her and her family and look forward to our times together. There is a lot of laughing and storytelling when we get together. We are planning a few trips for this year and also going on an adventure out west. I trust you with everything kiddo and thank you for being there for me and my family during some hard times over the past few years. Just please don’t tell the kayak story when I’m around!

Hey Sis… I love ya.

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, give me eyes of faith to see Your greater work around me. Help me to glorify You in the way I deal with others.

Book Recommendation:

The Way I Heard It by Mike Rowe (2019)

Music Recommendation:

Infinity by Journey (1978)

Quote of the Day:

“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” - Isaac Asimov

Cool Place to Visit:

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada