The Tale of the Lost Acorn

Happy First Day of Spring!

Feelings can be incredibly difficult to deal with and they can be awesome and make you feel on top of the world. You can experience both of those feelings within minutes of each other. You can enjoy them so much that you never want to feel any different or you can hate the feeling so much that you want to rant to the world.

For today’s blog entry, let’s start off with a couple of questions. Sound, okay? Great. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to clear your mind. After each question, think about how you would FEEL as these things took place.

How would you feel if your phone rang at 2:30 am and your only remaining parent was in the hospital in another state?

How would you feel if a surgeon comes to you in the waiting room and says, “He did great! We got it done just in time and he will recover fully?

How would you feel if you were waiting for test results all weekend and the phone rings and it is the doctor himself on the other end saying you need to come to the office immediately?

How would you feel if a cancer report came back clean and you’re in total remission?

How would you feel if you heard the doorbell ring and a police officer, and your child were standing on the front porch and neither looked very happy?

How would you feel if your boss called you from his office and asked you to step in and when you got there, he asked you to take a seat between him and the guy from HR?

How would you feel if you were coming home from Margarita Monday, and you looked in the rear-view mirror and noticed a police car behind you?

How would you feel when you go to ICU and must decide to take the person you loved most in this world off of life support?

How would you feel if someone you really cared for called and said, “we need to talk about our relationship”, and she doesn’t sound like her normal pleasant self?

I know “a guy” that has had all the above happen to him at some point in his life. You might like this “friend”, he’s a pretty good looking, smart, funny sort of guy that has experienced a lot of highs and lows through life. These “body shots” and “victories” take their toll. But life is never good without the bad. How would you know one without the other? Do you FEEL like you’ve had more than your fair share lately? My friend says he has had plenty and would enjoy a break from the tougher days in exchange for some much sunnier days.

Who or what do you turn to? Do you just suck it up? What gives you the strength to endure it. Who do you give credit to? Who do you blame? Who do you let know how you REALLY feel? Do you go into protect mode and come out swinging? How long until you return to “normal” again? Do you still have enough drive and determination to keep on fighting or do you want to give up? Are you embarrassed that you even thought about quitting?

When the “bad” ones happen, these are the times when you feel the anxiety meter pegging, your heart rate rockets, you can feel your pulse through your chest, the acid reflex feeling in the back of your throat is almost too much. You are forced to hear news that you don’t want to hear EVER. You don’t eat. You can’t sleep. You are not a lot of fun to be around and overall, not very productive. At least that’s what my friend tells me.

He also tells me that when the “good” times happen, life seems to slow down considerably, and everything feels like you always wished it would feel. The sun is so bright, the sky is so blue. That woman’s eyes wreck you. The baby looks so precious you want to devote the rest of your life to making sure they have everything they need. The news seems better. The food tastes great and the Browns are in the Super Bowl (okay, that last one is a lie).

Hey Rutmachine, that sure is a lot of questions! You going anywhere with all this? Are you going to land the plane? What gives? What does all of this have to do with an Acorn buddy boy?

I’m glad you asked.

Today’s blog is about a couple of stories. One from the somewhat distant past and the other very recent that has something in common with the Lost Acorn that seems to show up just at the right time to remind me who I am and who I am not. How this Acorn is a reminder of God’s faithfulness and love even if I am too busy to listen to Him and accept those gifts from Him.

Intrigued? Please keep reading and indulge me for a few more minutes. I’m thankful that you are taking the time to give this a spin and listen to my goofy stories and tales of woe, and I hope it is at least a little helpful and makes you think, laugh, cry and pray as that is my goal in writing these blogs.

But First…A Joke:

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doctor, I keep having these alternating dreams. First, I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?

The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”

Bonus Dad Joke:

Q: What do you call a kid fortune-teller who ran away from school?

A: A small medium at large.

A Verse to Contemplate:

Call on Me in a day of trouble; I will rescue you, and you will honor Me. Psalm 50:15

Have I Told You This One?

So, here we go with story numero uno.

Back in the late 1990’s I’m working for a particular valuation company, and I had only recently joined that firm after leaving a firm I had been with for almost 14 years. I was more than a little apprehensive when the economic and industry activity both slowed considerably and the need for our particular consulting services was starting to be impacted severely, and a price war was raging, and it was hard to keep everyone working and fully productive. There had been rumors of layoffs all through Atlanta and with other competitor firms so going to another firm was going to be difficult if something turned further south.

I had told Michelle that I was really starting to be concerned. At the time I was the only one working outside of the home and we had three little girls under 10 years of age. It was the first time in my career that I was worried about getting let go. I tried to do all I could do to make the decision tough for my employer if it came to that, but I knew my head was directly on the chopping block given my position and seniority with the firm.

As I feared, one day I got a call on the phone from my boss to step into his office as soon as possible. No sentence that ends with “as soon as possible” is ever a good thing. I came to his office and knocked on the door and was told to come in. Once I opened the door, I saw an empty chair between him and the guy from HR. Poop, my number had been punched. First and only time in my career that it happened but none the less, at the time it FELT terrible, and I FELT like a failure. I really didn’t hear anything after he said, “I’m sorry Mark but I have some bad news.” I FELT like I was outside of my body for a moment and my heart was beating through my chest. The technical term would be, IT SUCKED! After the news was delivered, I did the Bataan Death March back to my (now former) office and started packing my stuff in the proverbial banker box and headed to the car racking my brain to come up with how I’m going to break this to my wife and kids. FUN TIMES!

I was blessed with a great woman that I called my wife. She was loving and helpful and convinced me that I wasn’t a failure and that it wouldn’t feel terrible for long. She suggested I take a few days to pray and think it through. She knew me well enough to know that I am a chronic over-thinker, and this one was going to need a few days to process.

After a sleepless night, I quit trying to sleep and got up before dawn and sat in my chair and picked up a devotional that I was reading for my morning quiet time hoping for some silver lining inspiration or at a minimum something to make the thoughts in my head go away for a few moments. The following devotion was taken from Experiencing God Day by Day by Henry & Richard Blackaby (1998/2006), and it was what I read that morning.

Did you know that you bring glory to God by calling upon Him when you are in distress? God promised He would deliver you if you turned to him. You deny the Lord honor that is rightfully His every time you find yourself in difficulty and you fail to call upon Him for help! There may be times when God allows you to reach a point of need so that you can call upon him and thus let Him demonstrate to a watching world the difference He makes in the lives of His children. If God never allowed you to experience need, people around you might never have the opportunity to witness God’s provision in the life of a Christian. If you never faced a shortfall, you might be tempted to feel self-sufficient and without any need of God in your daily life.

Pride will tempt you to think that you do not need to seek God’s assistance. Self-regard will seek to convince you that you can handle your dilemma through your own wisdom, resources, and hard work. Pride will also rob glory from God and seek to give it to you. Don’t allow your pride to take what rightfully belongs to the Lord. Call upon your Lord and wait exclusively upon Him to rescue you. Then give Him the glory that He deserves.

Self-sufficiency can greatly hinder your ability to experience God and bring Him honor. The next time you are in distress, turn to Him!

WOW! Talk about perfect timing. It hit me right between the eyes and it FELT like God himself was looking over my shoulder when I was reading it.

I was given some advice from a friend who had gone through a job loss, and he suggested that I spend a day hiking and praying to seek God’s direction in the next phase of my life. That sounded weird but good to me, so I got in my car and drove to the lake near my home and spent the next 3 or 4 hours walking the trails, praying, thanking Him for everything, and asking for advice and direction. Along the way I reached down and picked up an acorn and held it in my hand the entire day. Once I got back to the car I reached in my pocket and found it and honestly couldn’t remember picking it up since my mind was all over the place that day. I FELT better after the walk and confident that He was going to work things out and that I needed to let Him provide and stop worrying.

As a reminder of that day, I placed that acorn in the sun visor of my car next to my garage door opener so that every time I opened the garage door, I would remind myself of that day and of His promises to provide. That Acorn stayed in my car even after He provided a new and better job for me. I was thankful and trusted in a God that kept His promises.

Years go by and somehow the acorn disappears from the sun visor and like Moses in the Bible after seeing the glory of God, the brightness in his face faded and wore off. I had no idea where it was and frankly things were going well, and I had become self-sufficient and apparently didn’t feel the need for the daily reminder anymore. The anxiety and acid reflux disappeared or was ignored after things “leveled out” and the drama subsided. Thanks Lord, I’ll take it from here.

Story el numero dos:

Jump ahead for about 30 years. I have been a widower for some time now and have zero prospects on being with another woman. When Michelle passed, I didn’t even think about dating or anything like that up until about the end of 2024 when I first considered it. I had been with one woman for nearly fifty years and had not dated since the 1970s. Once I started to consider even the possibility, I started to pray that God would bring me His choice for me. He sent me my first love and if He wanted me to experience that again I was trusting Him for that.

One day seemingly “out of the blue” I received a call from a friend informing me that his wife had a friend that was interested in speaking with me and possibly getting to know me. I reached out to her, and we met for dinner a couple of times and really hit it off. I was stunned by her and wondered if this was possibly God’s answer to my prayers. Just because things go well may make you FEEL that way, but it may not necessarily be so. The only way to find out is to keep meeting and see where it goes.

I was really convinced that she might be, but I still had some concerns. At any rate, in my mind things were going great and I enjoyed caring about someone again and thinking of someone in that way. It made me feel like a teenager at times which was hilarious. Since I had, let’s say “rusty” dating experience it was comical at times, but she was very nice and understanding. I was clearly smitten (do people still use that term?) and looked forward to the next call or date. It was fun to be “out there” again and to be with someone that I thought so much for.

A few months go by and then suddenly the calls start becoming less frequent, the dates even less frequent and I start to FEEL like something is not quite right with all of this. I want this to work too much, and I start to feel uneasy. I decided that I’m going to go up to the lake and take a hike to clear my mind and to pray about how I might know if I am FEELING this rightly or wrongly? Am I still seeking His choice for me? Is it her? Is it someone else? I’m unsure of it all at this point.

As I pull into the parking lot of the park by the lake, I reach into the center console, and I start digging to find my parking pass. My hand hits a few things and as I am pulling something out the shape and feel of it seems oddly familiar. To my shock it is the Lost Acorn. I look at it amazed since I thought it had been gone for years. I put it in my pocket, put the parking pass on the rear-view mirror and headed for the trails. I spend a few hours walking and praying and seeking God’s answers to my questions and concerns. I return to the car still unsure. I really like this lady and want this to work out, but I am not getting clear confirmation. I put the Lost Acorn back in the sun visor next to the garage door opener and head back to La Casa de Rutmachine.

I reach out to her on the phone the next day and after a few pleasantries, I hear “we need to talk about our relationship.” Much like the day I got let go from work, I didn’t hear much after that since I knew what was coming next. It was a short call that upset me deeply, but I did have an answer that I was wrestling with. As a “people pleaser” I have a hard time accepting it when people are indifferent toward me, but it was made very clear that this was not going to be happening. I’m still not sure what happened but it really doesn’t matter at this point.

The anxiety meter pegged, my heart rate rocketed, I could feel my pulse through my chest, the acid reflex feeling in the back of my throat was intense. For a few days I didn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I did not want to be around anyone and overall, I was not very productive. I struggle with self-loathing at times like this, but I know who I am and who I am not. I’ve been through a LOT worse than this and likely will go through more rough spots before being called to eternity. I have learned some things and wish her well and wish I had seen it coming but I will be fine.

As tough as it was, I was thankful to have had that in my life for a few months. I really enjoyed it and hoped she was God’s choice for me. You never know until you try. You never know how great the good times will be until you go through the bad times. I trust in God, and I am hopeful that someday I may meet His choice for me. If not, then I hope He helps me deal with What’s Next in the most glorifying way.

The Lost Acorn has been found and is now back in its proper position. God never left but I clearly had quit searching for Him regarding seeking help in times of trouble and despair. I hope I honored You in some way and did not steal Your glory.

Thanks for your time listening to my ramblings and I hope it helps you in some way. If not, I would appreciate your prayers as I continue to head into What’s Next. Never a dull moment for sure.

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, uproot my desire for the things of this world and implant cravings for Your ways in my heart so I may rest in Your righteousness.

Book Recommendation:

Leading with a Limp by Dan B. Allender, PhD (2006)

Music Recommendation:

Starz by Starz (1976)

Quote of the Day:

“Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well.”

Jack Kornfield

Cool Place to Visit:

Fort Collins, Colorado