Just One More…Please!

I’ve been a Grampy for six years now. I must admit that I am very surprised how great it is. Before it happened, I had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I was fearful that it would make me “feel old.” On the other hand, I got to witness a new generation come into the world and this one was a lot of my doing, for better or worse. My late wife Michelle had absolutely zero issues with it and couldn’t wait. Many of my friends that became grandparents before us just lit up when they talked about it. It was consistent. I never heard anyone complain with maybe the one exception that we didn’t have the energy we had when we were bringing our kids into the world. There really aren’t many things better than holding your kid’s kid and once they get old enough, they come running and give you a hug. It must be said that it is also pretty cool to hand them back when they smell funny, cry too much or need to go to bed.

I got to spend a day watching my three-year old grandson a few weeks ago while his parents went to enjoy a day out. I get excited about hanging with him because I enjoy the opportunity to be a part of his life and development. To spoil him, to have fun, to eat things we probably shouldn’t and to find things to do. One thing for sure, he doesn’t fall for Grampy saying “let’s play the quiet game!” There is absolutely no interest in that!

I also enjoy sitting back and observing a little guy that hasn’t been changed by the world yet and see a person that is truthful and hasn’t learned to harm others. Don’t get me wrong, we are all born into this world, and it impacts all of us, even the wee ones. But it is refreshing to just listen to him and watch how he responds to things going on around him. He is very much a “clean slate” and is young enough not to know all of the danger that there is going on around him. A blessing for sure.

So, I take advantage of the day with my Grand Stud, and we go watch my other grandson play baseball. Then we hit Walmart to pick up some Hot Wheels (he only has about 5,000). Then we go to a favorite Mexican restaurant for some lunch and then hit the ice cream stand for a cone (don’t tell your mom and dad that one!). We are having a big ole day and Grampy is on track to get him home in time for a nap I know he is not going to take. But duty calls so we head to the house, and I give him a hug and let him know that it is time for a nap. He wants to watch a cartoon first (shocker!). So, I try and figure out the big screen TV and all the apps and after I fail miserably (even after my kids told me what to do) I hand the clicker to the Grand Stud and he hits two buttons and Shazam, we have Bluey on a 60” screen. I mumble something under my breath and head to the fridge to get a snack to bribe him with.

After Bluey hits the big finish, I look him in the eye and say, okay time is up. Time to hit the sack for a nap. Now, we have all done this ourselves, our kids have done it and now the grands. He hits Grampy with “Just One More…PLEASE GRAMPY!! (puppy dog eyes, hugs, promises, the whole shebang). I don’t cave immediately, but I’ve taken a serious hit, and the legs are wobbly. I stay strong and chase him around the house for five minutes. Just One More…Please!! (Now, it’s getting ugly, and he kicks into pouting, fake crying, and loud pleading). I stay “strong” and work up a compromise. I will lay down with him for a little bit and read him a story. Guess what happened after that story? Just One More…Please!!

I finally realize that I am the adult in the room (stop laughing!) and put my foot down and beg him to go to sleep and if he does, I’ll pay for his college. He sees that as a decent trade off and I slip out of the room and head for the couch in the living room where the dogs and cats now want a piece of me. Seriously?!

As I was cleaning up the toys and other sundry messes the Grand Stud left so I could tell his parents how easy he was to watch him so they will let me do it again, I got to thinking about my precious little grandson. We are not too different, are we? How many times in my life have I asked for Just One More…Please? I want to stay up and have fun, I want to avoid pain and just do the fun, easy things. I want to avoid change. I want to stay in the good times and away from the hard times.

As the Stud was faking sleep, I sat and really thought about how my day with him was very reflective of the last several years of my life. Today’s blog will be about some life lessons my three-year old grandson taught ole Grampy and what I learned from a day with him one-on-one.

But First…A Joke:

A Xichigan fan goes ice fishing for the first time. While waiting for a bite, he hears a mysterious, booming voice say, “There are no fish under the ice!” The man ignores it, moves spots, cuts a hole, and starts fishing again. Once more, the voice says, “There are no fish under the ice!” He looks up and says, “Lord?” “No,” the voice says. “I’m the ice rink manager!”

A Verse to Contemplate:

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139: 7-10

Have I Told You This One?

As I sat there thinking about what just happened, I thought to myself that if I hadn’t done something to change the way he was working me, he would have likely “Just One More-ed” me forever. This, of course, is not news to me or anyone but still an interesting piece of all of us. The motivation is what is intriguing to me. Is it a control thing, immaturity, a lack of understanding, jealousy, weakness, laziness, envy? What exactly?

I did the same things to my parents when I was growing up and I think I do the same things to God now, albeit it’s not more Bluey or snacks but things like one more good report from the doctor, one more year to work at a certain salary, one more day of vacation before I have to return to reality, one more day of peace, one more friend, one more “hey look at me.” And let’s not even talk about a Super Bowl from the Browns or a baseball crown from the Tribe.

The biggest “One More” for me over the past several years has been One More day with Michelle, One More time to hear her voice, One More time to hold her hand, One More time to hug and kiss her. You get the idea.

Those things are never going to happen, and things are never going back to the way they were no matter how many times I ask and plead. That’s obvious to a lot of you I’m sure but grieving really messes with you. It’s taken me the better part of three years to face that truth. In addition, I have realized that we never stay the same, we always change no matter how hard we fight it. Am I trying to stay in the past where life was easier? Moving on is hard, but necessary.

His ways are not my ways as Scripture points out very clearly. Faith comes moving forward not from staying in the past, no matter how much I loved it. I have been doing the same thing to God as the Grand Stud did to me and I can’t keep doing it. He has plans for me. I’ve never felt like God was punishing me. Very few people have an “easy” life. Mine is no different but some days I want to throw down and yell…ENOUGH ALREADY! Most of us struggle. The truth is He doesn’t waste our pain and He is with us as we journey through the hard times and challenging circumstances.

What the Grand Stud helped me with was seeing that he and I are never going to be happy and content all the time. If I got one more day with her, I would want more, a LOT more. If I got to hold her hand again, I’d never let go. If I got to hear her voice one more time, I’d never let her stop.

I absolutely hate the phrase “the new normal.” If I hear it one more time, I am afraid that I may go medieval on that person. In the sense that I am never going back to the way things were, it is true, I do have a new normal. I didn’t ask for it, I don’t want it and I don’t like it, but His ways are not my ways.

The Grand Stud woke up from his “nap” and wanted to play Hot Wheels with Grampy, so Grampy got off the couch and played Hot Wheels with my buddy. As I look at him and give him a hug and a smooch, I whisper a thank you and he looks at me like I’m having a stroke. Let’s play Grampy…One More Time…Please!!!

You got it buddy, you got it.

A Prayer:

Spirit of God, I take great comfort in knowing that wherever I go I will be in Your presence. Help me to run to You rather than from You when I feel unworthy.

Book Recommendation:

The Five Wishes of Mr. Murray McBride by Joe Siple (2018)

Music Recommendation:

Rites of Summer by Spyro Gyra (1988)