♪♪♪ When I’m 64 ♪♪♪
This past Sunday, I finished another trip around the sun and by God’s grace I was able to celebrate my 64th birthday. I was away on a Tres Dias retreat in the Georgia mountains with a group of about 125 friends and fellow travelers. Some that knew me better came up and wished me a happy birthday and most didn’t until someone spilled the beans and then the whole place sang me the Happy Birthday song.
Birthdays are odd when you get a smidge older, for me anyway. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but on the other hand it was nice that some folks remembered. Like most birthdays, I spent a little time reflecting and trying to come to grips that I was one of the older guys in the room and that I’m closer to 70 than I am to 50. That part is tougher to accept and embrace.
I received two actual birthday cards in the mail. One from my friend and financial planner (thank you Terry) and the other from a Tres Dias brother that never forgets (thank you Bob). I did receive many messages on my Facebook page and some on my phone. Again, we celebrate differently now.
My kids are pushing the age that my mind’s eye tells me that I am. However, the mirror brings me back into reality. At this age, I am a Grampy, a widower, a retiree, a seasoned professional, and I was alive when the Browns won their last championship (barely). The Tribe hasn’t pulled it off in my lifetime. All these things point to being an “older person.” I have been out of high school for over 45 years. I’ve been out of college for over 40. I watched cell phones and personal computers become a thing. If I was trying a legal case, I would say, “the prosecution rests” at this point. The defense has their job cut out for them.
During the retreat, one of the guys that was giving a talk got up and pointed to those of us along the “leadership wall” and encouraged the “younger guys” that they needed to step up because the “older guys” aren’t going to be around forever. We all spit out our cod liver oil and had a good giggle.
Clint Eastwood was asked how he keeps acting and directing while he is 93. His response was “Don’t Let The Old Man In.” I get it. It is a battle and if you are not up to it, you will get beat. I hate to lose, at ANYTHING. So, I keep fighting but the battle takes a bigger bite out of me than it used to. However, the alternative is nothing I want to be involved in. There will be plenty of time for checkers and bingo.
Today’s blog will be about my thoughts on growing older but not wanting to be old and to being very thankful for an opportunity to use my life experiences and to get to keep waking up every morning and trying to add value to my life and the lives of others.
But First…A Joke:
A major league ballplayer sits down for an interview with a reporter. They discuss his favorite athletes, what inspired him to become a ballplayer, and what advice he would give to younger players. Finally, the reporter asks, “What three things would you want people to say about you when you are gone?”
He thinks for a minute before answering. “At my memorial, I hope that my family recalls that I was a wonderful husband and father. I’d want my fans to say that I’m not only talented, but inspiring - that I made a difference in their lives. But most of all, “he continues, as a reporter leans in, “I’d want someone at my funeral to say about me, ‘Look! He’s moving!”
A Verse to Contemplate:
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” - John 13:7
Have I Told You This One?
John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote a song with The Beatles back in the 1960’s called When I’m 64. Written by 20-year-old musicians during the turmoil of the 1960s, I’m sure that they didn’t think they would still be putting songs out when they got to the vintage old age of 64. The lyrics are as follows:
When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a Valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I'd been out 'til quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?
You'll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?
Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear
We shall scrimp and save (shall scrimp and save)
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck and Dave
Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?
Whoo!
Mick Jagger was once quoted that he could not imagine being 45 years old and touring around singing Satisfaction. Now he is in his eighties doing it. You don’t see as many songs being written about enjoying being older, wiser and content. It’s usually younger people trying to look out in the future and having to live the horror of becoming their parents age or (GASP) their grandparent’s age. Why is that? I’m guessing songs about slowing down and being able to get 10% off of your hotel room doesn’t sell as many records as songs about partying, being wild and chasing wine, women and song. Can I share some advantages that I have enjoyed over the past decade or so?
I think as I have gone through the different decades and phases of life it seems like I lose certain things but pick up new things and experiences that come for a season until I transition to the next one (God willing). Some of the “cool” things about being on the back side of the bell curve are:
Being friends with my kids - When you shift from the authoritative parent mode to the grown equals and friends mode. I still have to be the parent but it’s different and I can be an encourager and mentor.
Being able to help raise another generation - I love spending time with the grands. I don’t want to be the old geezer but the fun Grampy that has funny stories and wise advice.
Being able to truly see what is valuable in life - I value time a LOT more than I used to. I wish I would have listened to older folks that tried to teach me this when I was growing up.
Being proud of my friends - I have been blessed with some great people in my life and I enjoy visiting and hearing their stories. We have led some amazing lives and have achieved a bunch.
Being able to help people - Having the assets and experiences to help people make good decisions and to give grace to those who have made some bad ones.
Being able to explain what good music sounded like - That’s an old guy thing to say, but unfortunately, it’s true. I envision us all sitting in the assisted living tower arguing which bands were better than others.
The best thing about getting older is that if the Almighty sees fit to gift me another day is that I get to live another day and try and Shock the World and make a difference. Don’t waste a single day my good friends. Don’t Let the Old Man In!
The world still needs you and me even When We Are 64!!
A Prayer:
Father, strengthen me when I do not understand what you are doing, grow my faith and give me the confidence and vision to seek You. Teach me to be quiet and to listen to You and to meditate on how You have loved and provided in the past and to stand on Your promises. Keep the darkness away and fill me with Your Spirit and lead me into Your light.
Book Recommendation:
A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (2016)
Music Recommendation:
Whitford/St. Holmes by Brad Whitford and Derek St. Holmes (1981)