“Does Anyone Remember Laughter?”

Hey there! Good news (for me), I didn’t get any spoiled fruit thrown at me after my first blog post so I’m going to keep going. Thanks to everyone for the feedback and encouragement. “You like me…You really like me” (Google it for the younger folks).

If you are of a “certain age” you probably have heard the live soundtrack to The Song Remains The Same by Led Zeppelin around 1973. Robert Plant improvises during Stairway to Heaven with the now famous question in the song. It is akin to movie fans dropping their favorite lines from movies to gauge your true knowledge of a particular flick.

I’m going to use this as a question for today’s blog.

But first….A Joke to loosen things up a little:

One day a blonde went to an auction to buy a parrot. He really wanted it, but he kept getting outbid. So, he bid higher…and higher…and higher. Even though he had to bid way more than he intended, he finally won the bird. As he was paying for it, he mentioned to the auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I’d hate to have paid this much to find out that he can’t!” “Don’t worry,” replied the auctioneer. “Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

A Verse To Contemplate:

“Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” Psalms 90:12

Story of the Day:

Let me ask you a question…Have you ever been at a point in your life where you were just crusin’ along and then in the blink of an eye you find yourself taking a completely different path and after a bit you just sit there and wonder what just happened?

I’m two years into that as of this writing. My wife Michelle got Covid on her 60th birthday and 12 days later she was gone. I’m still trying to figure out what happened and definitely think “does anyone remember laughter?”

In my family, we have been accustomed to dealing with some serious health challenges over the years. Michelle had a kidney transplant, her Dad had three transplants, my daughter had a kidney transplant, my grandson had two brain surgeries in his first two months of life. So when Michelle went into the hospital, we were concerned but did not think she would not beat it and come back home. We were wrong.

For her birthday that year I scheduled a winery trip in the mountains for her and my three girls. The night before she was to leave was our 39th anniversary. On our way to dinner to celebrate we found out that our grandson got Covid which made us very concerned and put a quick end to our date. Michelle was a higher threat to Covid because of her transplant and the anti-rejection drugs she took. Her immune system was compromised and if she got Covid it would be very difficult for her to fight the infections. We were mostly worried about our grandson given all the challenges he had been through. Michelle said she wasn’t feeling great and went to bed early so she would be rested for the winery tour the next day.

The girls came and picked her up and they headed to the mountains for a few days and I anticipated her back by her birthday so we could celebrate and make up for the anniversary. Later in the day the girls called me and said Michelle was really sick but she didn’t want to reschedule the trip and was going to stick it out. They called a few more times and I could tell the concern in their voices. When she finally made it home, she looked very ill and went straight to bed.

Covid was raging at this time and it was going to take hours to get tested and, if necessary, seen by a physician. I said let’s go to the hospital and Michelle said to wait until the next day and if she was not better that she would go. We went to a walk-in clinic the next day which took four hours to be seen. When she was examined, they told us that she had Covid and needed to get to the hospital for care. They were taking her to X-ray to check out her lungs but she fainted on the way down the hall. An ambulance was called and she was taken to Kennesaw Hospital. We waited another eight hours to be seen by a doctor.

They confirmed the prior diagnosis and admitted her to the hospital. One problem…no rooms. She stayed in emergency for another 30 hours before a bed opened up. At this point I was not permitted to see her because the hospital was in a code red shut down due to the pandemic. I called her the next day but her phone went directly to voice mail. She texted back that she wanted a phone charger and a heating pad and back pillow. I drove to the hospital immediately and was told that she could only have the charger and the other items were not on “the list”. I got into a heated argument with a woman at the front desk due to her lack of empathy and I was escorted out by an officer. It was not my best day. Does anyone remember laughter?

Three days in she was moved to an ICU step down room. Two more days she was moved to ICU. The next day I had to make a decision to put her on a ventilator. She then had three surgeries to place tubes into her lungs to be able to breathe. I was then informed that she had MRSA and was “very sick”. Then palliative care started calling me every few hours. My daughter Mallory also was in the hospital with Covid and was going down an almost identical path as Michelle. We received no calls from physicians for the first six days and then only one per day. We hacked into her MyChart and could follow what treatments she was getting and what her vitals were. Does anyone remember laughter?

On day eleven, I was called and told that they had run out of things to do and that we should prepare to think about making her comfortable and that she had next to no chance of beating this. Her lungs were gone and she was being kept alive by the ventillator. I scheduled a meeting with the physician for the next day to discuss options. I had to then do the hardest thing I ever have had to do in my life, tell my girls their Mom was not going to make it. Does anyone remember laughter?

The next day I was allowed to get into the hospital and went to ICU to visit with the physician and to finally get to see my beloved. I was gowned up and looked like I was going into a nuclear reactor that needed repaired. I prepared myself as I approached her room and when I saw her, it buckled me. She was hooked up to so many machines and was still on the ventillator. I went in and held her hand and stroked her hair and talked with her. I do not know if she could hear me since she was so heavily sedated but in case she could, I started talking to her until it was time to meet with the physician. Does anyone remember laughter?

When I met with the physician in a conference room he told me her current situation and all they had done to save her but she was in organ failure and there was no scientific chance that she would survive. I made another decision I never thought I would have to make; to take her off the ventilator and switch her care to comfort care. I never felt more alone in my life.

I waited outside her room as they drew the curtain and took her off the ventilator. They also started unhooking her from all the other machines. The nurse was so kind and caring but I knew what was happening. I stayed with her for the last 90 minutes of her life holding her hand, stroking her hair, singing to her and reading some letters I wrote to her. Then she was gone and present with her Lord.

I stayed in the room for another 15 minutes until I felt her cold hand and realized that it was done. I went out of the room and began to let everyone know. Mallory was still fighting for her life and found out her Mom passed via text. Does anyone remember laughter?

As I write this today, I still struggle with the reality of it all. Two years have gone by at an unbelievable slow pace. The holidays, birthdays, etc. are not the same and I feel like my life ended two years ago and I’m trying to get started but I’m stuck and quite lonely. I went from a great marriage with my best friend to alone in the house we worked so hard to make a home. She was an unbelievable person that has left a legacy to be very proud of. I miss her and can’t wait to see her again in eternity. She beat me there and I envy her for that. I’m also very happy that she doesn’t have to go through what we have had to go through.

Mallory pulled through and beat Covid and is doing really well. Thank God for that. It was an answer to many prayers and I am beyond thankful. My grandson is thriving and doing well. So, I do remember laughter. It is not as loud as it used to be but one thing I have learned is to be happy for the nearly 50 years we had together (we met when I was 15 and she was 14) and how great she made my life. Thank you Lord for that. You blessed me far beyond what I have ever deserved.

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, You are my hope! Fill me to overflowing with joy and peace as I learn to completely trust You by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Book Recommendation:

Ghost Rider, Travels On The Healing Road by Neil Peart (2002)

Music Recommendation:

Lightbulb Sun by Porcupine Tree (2000)

Here Goes Nothing!

I have been thinking about a LOT of things over the past few years and one of them was finding a way to write and express myself. Some friends encouraged me to get a little deeper into writing and sharing my stories and tales. To be honest, I struggled mightily with coming to grips that anyone would be interested in anything I have to say or spending time listening to my goofy stories. I have noticed what Facebook and other social media outlets have done to people who dare have an opinion and the “bravado” from all the tough guy keyboard warriors there are amongst us. Apparently, I am a glutton for punishment so “Here Goes Northing!”

I thought what I would do initially is to mimic one of the greatest speeches I have ever heard. It was given by Jim Valvano in 1993 who was in a fight for his life with cancer (a link to it is provided here: https://youtu.be/HuoVM9nm42E?si=5rJUKtVCm9AnhVDT).) I was in tears after he finished his 10 minute “never give up” speech. He says a ton in this but the one thing I always remember is that a full day consists of three things. This kind of day should make you laugh, cry and think. It was a nearly perfect presentation by a great communicator and the only thing I would add is a fourth important thing and that is to pray and acknowledge God in all that we do.

So, to that end I am going to try and cover these four things in my blog/stories/tales. I’m excited to do this and I hope it goes well. I’m definitely not trying to gain “clicks or followers”, “likes”, or whatever the current terms are today. Just trying to have some fun and make people laugh, cry, think and pray as they take a break and spend some of their valuable time reading my goofy takes on life.

Here Goes Nothing!

A Joke to loosen things up a little:

A man was flying home from a business trip when the flight attendant handed out brownies. He decided to save them for later, and he put them in the cleanest thing he could find - an unused vomit bag. After the plane landed, the man got up to leave and a flight attendant approached him and said “Sir, would you like me to dispose of that for you?”. “No thanks,” he said. “I’m saving it for the kids.”

A Verse to Contemplate:

“You are the light that gives light to the world. Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven” Matthew 5: 14,16

Story of The Day:

I graduated from Ellet High School in Akron, Ohio in June of 1978. If you do the math, that means this June was 45 years since they told me to leave and make something of myself in the real world. My class is made up of some really great people and several of them have taken their time, energy and money to “herd the cats” every five years and put on a reunion. I certainly appreciate the effort put forth and we celebrated our 45th anniversary this past September back in Ohio.

I met my wife when I was a sophmore and she was a freshman. We went to a Valentine’s Day dance and we were a couple until her passing in 2021. This was to be the first one I attended without her and it left a big hole in my heart.

I am also blessed to have a large number of classmates that I truly enjoy seeing and catching up with. Forty-five years brings a lot of changes and life can be a tricky winding road with cliffs, rivers, pot holes and mountain tops. We are no longer the “sorta” innocent bunch that spent four years together trying to figure out what to do and how to act in a grown-up world. The scars and wrinkles were visible, but the eyes led to some beautiful hearts and souls.

I had not seen some of the folks since 1978. Where do you start a conversation? “What have you been doing the last 45 years?” That was going to take some serious unpacking. However, some turned out about what you would expect, others were surprising but the cool thing about this reunion for me was that it seemed like most everyone was realistic and comfortable with who they were and no one was trying to overly impress. No one showed up in a limo or helicopter with a trophy spouse or some similar silliness. At this point, we are what we are. I enjoyed that to be honest. In my mind’s eye we are all 17 and 18 years old but walking into a room of 60-year-old folks smacks you in the face that we have had a good deal of water flow under the bridges of our lives.

There were a bunch of stories going around, some laughter, some smirks, some grins, handshakes, hugs, and eye rolls. We also found out that 53 of our classmates had graduated on up to the next level of life. That was no fun and I hate facing that reality. I miss seeing them and hearing their stories.

I have had the misfortune to learn to live without my wife for the past two years and figuring out my next steps after being together for nearly 50 years. This night provided a nice respite as it took me back to a time when things were a lot more fun and a lot less stressful. I am well aware that you can’t live in the past, it’s not practical or healthy, but it was fun to time travel back to the 70’s and remember some of the best years of my life. I’m sure glad they didn’t have cell phones back then!

I remember being in a bank one time when I was in my 30’s and this lady who was in her 60’s came in and was complaining to the teller that she hated getting older. The teller, trying to be nice, said “you’re not old, you are middle-aged.” The lady responded, “Middle-aged?”, Do you think I’m going to live 120 years!?” All in the bank had a good laugh but now that I am in my 60’s……I get it.

At the end of it all, I went to sleep that night like a little kid with a smile on my face and on my heart. It felt REALLY good to be with and remember my friends from long ago. To see their success and their recovery from life’s body shots. I am thankful for the time I grew up, where I grew up, whom I grew up with and the experiences and freedoms we enjoyed back then. Fifty years is up next. Yikes!

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, forgive me when I try to control things and work everything out my way. When my mind spins out of control, remind me that You are in complete control. Help me to trust You with anything that comes my way so I can live in Your perfect peace.

Book Recommendation: The Stranger in The Lifeboat - a novel by Mitch Albom (2021)

Music Recommendation: The Complete Live at the Plugged Nickel 1965 - Miles Davis